2. Phone answering machine message – "…If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key…"

3. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

4. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

5. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

6. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can’t, I’ve cut your arms off".

7. I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a muscle.

8. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

9. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

10. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I’ll give you some cream to put on it."

11. "Doc I can’t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It’s not unusual."

12. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let’s have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I’m going to have to put him down." "What? Because he’s cross-eyed?" "No, because he’s really heavy"

13. Guy goes into the doctor’s. "Doc, I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How’s that?" "Don’t you start."

14. Two elephants walk off a cliff…boom, boom!

15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

16. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it."

17. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin.

18. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!"

19. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

20. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice."

21. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I’ve hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don’t go there anymore"

22. Ireland’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Whoa! LOL!!! How’d you get so many great jokes! Thanks! YOU made my day!

Dark blue jeans – fairly normal. I mostly wear dark blue jeans myself
Dark blue jacket? – again, nothing too out of the ordinary here
Combat boots – she likes combat boots. Lots of folks do. They’re hard-wearing and can be good for hiking
In her 30’s – lots of women are …
Wears a big man’s watch – some women prefer the look of men’s watches. I’m not one of them, I have a tiny wrist so it’d look silly, but I do like larger women’s watches
Drives an old VW golf – She has good taste in cars
Long and blonde hair – cool
Does not smile at all – not cool. Could be defensive, depressed, lacking social skills, or just miserable. A smile costs nothing

Duration : 0:1:25

Technorati Tags: Pipe tobaccos smoking, with music of Rock.

Guidelines to be observed by female students for liturgies:

A dress, skirt and collared shirt or dress slacks and a collared shirt. All dresses and skirts must follow our Appearance Code guidelines and reach mid-knee. All shirts must follow our Appearance Code.
Appropriate dress shoes or dark athletic shoes.
————————————–…
Yes. So I was wondering Where I can buy clothes like this? Especially for the liturgies, I like barely find dresses or skirts that are at the knee. I would just like maybe a list of stores where they sell stuff like this. THANKS!
Oh and the OTHER rules are:Clothes must me modest and neat. Inappropriate words, graphics, symbols, decorations, or chains are not allowed on clothing. Backless shoes or very high heels above 1 inch are not acceptable.

AND THANKS!
Oh, and yes I know this should be in Fashion, but people in the Adolescent section just give so much good answers in general.
Thanks.


lol gossip girl it up!
i always wanted a dress code actually! i thought it would be fun

ill post some cute pics!

http://media.photobucket.com/image/gossip%20girl%20fashion/LoveEdward4ever/Fashion/gossip-girl19.jpg?o=2

are you aloud boots?
knee high boots would be VERY hot lol!

Button up tops can look really cute on girls!
wear one that fits, and one that isnt baggy! it will look really cute!
Hair bands are gossip girl style lol!

http://media.photobucket.com/image/serena%20van%20der%20woodsen/trishhsirt/YoungBlondeSerena.jpg?o=38

what about something like this?
knee long plaid skirt, butto up top, and a vest/sweater thingy would look adorable!

what kind of bags do they allow?
get a really cute black one that can fit all your stuff
forever 21 would carry cute skirts and sweaters and button up shirts along with accessories.

hope this helps girl! have fun!

If you cant wear boots get a cute pair of knee high socks and get a close matching pair of flats

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=acc%5Flegwear&product%5Fid=2057510790&Page=1

http://www.onlineclothing-stores.com/index.php?k=camo+pants+women&c=AllClothing

(i see people like that on xbox live)
ok thanks now what maps on xbox live have the ghillie suit?
ok thanks now what maps on xbox live have the ghillie suit?

(including the new maps that cost like 800 points)

You may be thinking of the Ghillie suit that snipers wore, seen on two of the campaign modes ( All Ghillied Up and The Shot). This only works on certain levels, for example, on overgrown, the ghillie suit will be worn. On like Backlot, you will be without the ghillie suit.

2. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

3. I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.

4. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

5. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

6. Two termites walk into a bar. One asked, "Is the bar tender here."

A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned.

Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.

There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s novocaine during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication!

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.

My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it’s just kiln time.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Shotgun wedding A case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Banning the bra was a big flop.

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

If electricity comes from electrons… does that mean that morality comes from morons?